Service on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/100064617886792/videos/1723739582122158 and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5tFThkt7XE
Most of the time, when it comes to this text, we stop short of the end. We focus on Peter, because Peter seems to make himself the center of all things, he’s always right there out front. But what about John?
An old man sits in a room, looking out the window over the city of Ephesus, some 1000 miles from his home in Galilee. No doubt the years were visible on his face and the miles of walking were evident in his aching bones.
He is about the see the turn of the century, if that’s something that people knew anything about. Tradition tells us that John died of old age in the year 98ce, in Ephesus, western Turkey. But in the moment we find him at the window, he is remembering.
Meeting Jesus at the sea of Galilee when he and his brother were fishing, he remembered the healings, the meals, feedings, the last really long meal, and all the cryptic things that Jesus would say that even now he was still trying to make sense of.
He remembered how the end of his time with Jesus was so similar to the beginning–back on a boat in Galilee, fishing. He remembered how Peter threw himself into the water overwhelmed by seeing Jesus again, but looking foolish and not making it to the shore any faster than the boat.
And then the conversation, where Jesus asks Peter, “Simon, do you love me?” Peter professing his love, and then being told those hard words, ““I tell you truly, Peter…when you are an old man, you are going to stretch out your hands and someone else will dress you and take you where you do not want to go.”
He remembers also where he was when he got the news about Peter’s death by crucifixion, during that persecution in Rome. He remembers the other stories he heard, about his own brother James being killed by Herod, about Matthew, Thomas, Philip, Andrew: crucified, clubbed, stabbed, burnt. One by one, all killed, all for their following Jesus.
Year by year, the company of disciples getting smaller, and now, if all the stories he has heard are true, he is the last, the last remaining apostle.
“Simon, do you love me?” then Jesus said, ‘You must follow me.’ You must follow me. Those long ago words, those words first spoken at the seaside to fishermen with nets in their hands.
And Peter looked at John and said to Jesus, “Yeah but, what about him?”
And Jesus saying, “If it is my wish for him to stay until I come, is that your business, Peter? You must follow me.”
What do you think it was like for John to be the last of the apostles alive? Why did he survive? All the other disciples, traditions tell us, were martyred, but it also tells us John alone lived to very old age, and died a natural death in the year 98ce, surrounded by his friends in the church in Ephesus, western Turkey. Each disciple heeded the call, “You must follow me.” But each one had a different path.
We don’t know Peter’s motivation for the question. It seems that Peter understood that there would be suffering in his future, that he would be killed for following Jesus. “Yeah, but, what about him?”
Was he Peter asking because it was making sure John would experience the same fate? If John was the beloved disciple as many think, Peter and John were often in competition with each other–down to raising to the empty tomb, Peter leaping out of the boat to get to Jesus. If I’m going to suffer, is he? Is he going to share in this suffering? Are we on the same journey? Fair is fair.
Or maybe he wanted to know if his friend, his friend he traveled with, who saw the raising of the dead, whom he dined with was going to suffer, too. Maybe he hoped that dear, beloved friend wouldn’t suffer the same fate.
No matter what motivated the question, Jesus’ answer still stands, “What business is it of yours Peter? You must follow me.” Comparing won’t help you. You must follow me.
Everyone has their own way of following, everyone has their own journey, everyone has their own way of walking the Good Road that Jesus taught about and invited all to follow. It could be that we all have our own journeys. It could be like a labyrinth–where we are all on the same path at different speeds and some walk, some run, some crawl, some dance.
I don’t know if you know this, but it was 10 years between graduation seminary to my ordination. I watched many a friend succeed where I… didn’t. I watched people I didn’t think were worthy succeed where I didn’t, which I know, is pretty judgy. I felt like I was years behind where I should have been, sometimes still do, like I should have hit certain milestones miles ago.
Sometimes it’s like that. We all have our own journey, our own way to travel the Good Road.
“What business is it of yours? You must follow me.”
We all have our own journey, our own way to travel the Good Road.
It might be your great joy, a baby or grand-baby when your friend is without despite their desire. And you ask “But what about…”
“What business is it of yours? You must follow me.”
We all have our own journey, our own way to travel the Good Road.
It might be a sickness that came on you and you were somehow made well and your loved one was not. Or maybe someone else who suffered a trauma that you just can’t even comprehend. This, like every last Sunday in April is Break the Silence Sunday, a day to recognize the silence of church when it comes to the sexual violence it has inflicted, and the sexual violence it has been too uncomfortable to make space for. “But what about them?
“What business is it of yours? You must follow me.”
Those who are survivors, will walk a different journey because of their experiences.
And it isn’t just us as individuals, it is the community, the church has a habit of saying “But what about them?” It might be looking at, comparing to a church that seems to be doing well, with a full parking lot or a successful program. It might be looking at numbers, seeing how many people they have in their seats. Or maybe it looking at another church and being glad we’re not in the place they are, or worried about their future.
“But what about them”
“What business is it of yours? You must follow me.”
It doesn’t always mean it’s fair.
We love each other equally, but some people need extra help. The most vulnerable of our neighbors, near and far, need extra care.
But there are none less called, none more called, none doing it better if we learn to live fully into the call of God on our lives, to become who it is God is continuing to create us to be.
Viktor E. Frankl’s writing about his time and reflection on his time in concentrations camps, wrote, “Those who have a ‘why’ to live, can bear with almost any ‘how.’”
His ongoing writing and work was on the existential crisis that so many have. His understanding is that purpose is what keeps us going, that helps us survive. He wrote: “Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated, thus, everyone’s task is unique as his specific opportunity to implement it.”
We are called to follow. We, as individuals and as a church are all called to follow, to feed, to care for those Jesus loves. But we’re not all going to do it the same way.
And when we compare, we’re living, or trying to live someone else’s story. It keeps us from living fully into our call.. Keeps us from living fully into the life we’re called to. Keeps us from living fully into the Resurrection, abundant, eternity living.
Comparing, worrying about other’s journey, trying to walk someone else’s journey, then we are not able to see the good, the opportunities, the gifts we have.
It will leave us with less faith, less hope, less joy, less holy imagination, less able to hear the voice and see the movement of the spirit that is always here, always calling you, me, us the church to be who it is that we are called to be.
And it’s not going to look like anyone else.
Often quoted from Frederick Buechner, “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”
And that is going to be different, for every person, every community, every church.
When you find yourself comparing, holding up another person or church or community and asking, “But what about them?
“What business is it of yours? You must follow me.”
What does that look like for you, for Emmanuel? When Jesus says follow, what does that journey look like? How are we walking the Good Road together in the way that Jesus calls us to?